Monday, December 13, 2010

Call It a Bad Romance

Remember those days when you were a teenager, dying for that chance at love & once you had it, you swore this will last forever. Then you realized that whole 'forever' deal was only for about a year before you get your heart broken, I guess the same still applies to adulthood because it seems like everyone is breaking up & getting their hearts broken. I guess no matter how old you are you will always go through:

A. Trying to analyze WHY, why did he do this to me? why didn't I see this coming?

B. Then the WHAT, what did I do to deserve this? what could I have done better? what if I don't ever find someone as good as him again? what what what!

C. I must move on and get back into the dating scene! (This is because if you're the one w. the broken heart, you're feeling like crap & insecure)

After you've gone through that, then you start to analyze what happened & here are some possible causes. (This doesn't apply to everyone but it seems like that's what's been going on ):

A. SCRUBS- Nobody wants a significant other who can't provide for you. This is because you're looking into the future & you want somebody to be able to hold their own & help provide for the family. Also including people who don't have some sort of transportation. Transportation isn't always a deal breaker, but it sure hurts if the girl is always picking up the guy. We pretty much live in a world where chivalry is almost non-existent so, simple things like picking her up, paying for the date (even offering/splitting) go a long way.

B. LONELINESS- Why is this a relationship killer? Well, it's because you're scared to be alone so you hop from one relationship to the next & will never be satisfied. Serial daters are a red flag because they need to fill some weird void inside & will use you at all costs, literally. Some warning signs would be their track record, if you see some ACTUAL time gaps between relationships, you're good, but if it's close together you should stay away. But why not you? Why can't YOU be the one to rescue them from misery? Well, that's because you can't help someone who is blind to it, therefore they need to seek professional help!

C. MATURITY- This almost goes into the whole scrub category except, difference in maturity levels can murder your romance. Nobody wants to "parent" their significant other. People always say women mature faster than men & that could be true. Dreams, aspirations, drive, those things come w. maturity & it's obviously an unattractive quality to have if you lack any of those. Maturity also includes following through with commitments, decisiveness, being able to control your own actions & admitting fault.

D. INSECURITY- This must be the biggest boner killer of all time. Sure, when your loved one tells you you're insecure you make a big fuss about how you're not but deep down you are. This insecurity turns into accusations which turn into fights that are bigger than they really are. I'm not saying all your gut feelings aren't true, but unless your partner is really giving you reasons not to trust them then just chill out.

If you watch Keeping Up With the Kardashians then you might remember something Bruce Jenner said along the lines of, They're only at their best when you're dating them. So with that said, look ahead into the future, if their best isn't up to par then re-evaluate. If they suck now while they are trying to get you into marriage, chances are no matter how much you're going to try, it's most likely not gonna get any better.

Connie Cee